CAS-U-5 Lab Announcements
CAS-U-5 Lab Announcements
- Location
- Laboratory CAS-U-5
(Shipwreck Strand) - Interact
- Yes, "Investigate"
- Destructible
- No
CAS-U-5 Lab Announcements is a terminal found in Laboratory CAS-U-5 that displays a message congratulating Arch Researcher Tunsi of the Inquest on his imminent death.
Location[edit]
Text[edit]
Dear Arch Researcher Tunsi,
In celebration of the 99th anniversary of your natal egress, we are pleased to present you with a pineapple upside-down cake. Thank you for exhausting these last several decades of your life in pursuit of rigorous science and relentless innovation!
If you wish, you may let your staff eat cake during any downtime between experiments. Calculated from the prior decade's health examination logs, your odds of continued survival beyond the age of 100 diminish exponentially, so please enjoy this opportunity for rest and relaxation. In the words of our late Arch Headmaster Quag, "Science never stops, so naturally, then, neither can we."
As a reminder to staff, be sure to sign below to claim 20 minutes of cake time. This will ensure your compensation reductions are appropriately prorated.
(Over a dozen titles and names are listed below. Most are illegible, and several names with lower-ranking titles are crossed out.)
Arch Researcher Tunsi
Senior Researcher Xhunn
Senior Energy Calculator Kagg
REDACTED Researcher Iga
