Professor Smoll
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This content was introduced in April Fools' Day 2024 and is subsequently only available during April Fools' Day. |
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Professor Smoll is an asuran inventor that can be found in Lions Arch during April Fools. They[1] are seeking help to test their latest invention.
Location[edit]
Items offered[edit]
- April Fool's Curios
- The items below require the festival April Fools' Day.
| Item | Type | Rarity | Cost |
|---|---|---|---|
 Fool's Ocular Tonic |
Utility item | Exotic | 100  Pile of Bloodstone Dust
|
 Fool's Tall Tonic |
Utility item | Exotic | 100 Pile of Bloodstone Dust
|
 Serious Potion |
Utility item | Rare | 100 Pile of Bloodstone Dust
|
 Fool's Dog Treat |
Utility item | Masterwork | 100 Pile of Bloodstone Dust
|
 Spiked Choya Psionic Tonic |
Tonic, Gizmo | Exotic | 1 Fool's Dog Treat
|
 Chatoyant Elixir |
Utility item | Ascended | 5  Tiger's Eye Pebble + 1  Beryl Orb
|
 Choice Unburdener Elixir |
Consumable | Exotic | 1  Bloodstone Brick + 4 
|
- April Fool's Mementos
- The items below require the festival April Fools' Day.
| Item | Type | Rarity | Cost |
|---|---|---|---|
 Chatoyant Lens |
Accessory | Rare | 9 Chatoyant Elixir
|
 Extra Chatoyant Lens |
Accessory | Ascended | 50  Glob of Ectoplasm + 40  Laurel + 9 Chatoyant Elixir
|
 Masked Cat Hat Box |
Container | Exotic | 10 + 9 Chatoyant Elixir
|
 Cloaked Cat Mantle Box |
Container | Exotic | 10 + 9 Chatoyant Elixir
|
 Invisible Cat Cape |
Back item | Exotic | 10 + 9 Chatoyant Elixir
|
 Chatoyant Infusion |
Infusion | Exotic | 10 + 50 Glob of Ectoplasm + 40 Laurel
|
 Homestead Decoration Box: Café Console (Requires not having consumed this item before.) |
Consumable | Exotic | 100  Dragonite Ore
|
 Recipe: Golden Sink |
Recipe sheet | Basic | 8 + 50 Chatoyant Elixir
|
Dialogue[edit]
- First interaction during April Fools' Day 2025 and 2026
- Excelsior, brave volunteer! Once again, I am imploring you to aid in voluntary tests of my miraculous potions—and various other items of strange origin.
Sounds great. How do I sign up?
- Just place your signature here, and a mysterious box will be sent to you immediately! If you need more goods, just visit me anytime. Supplies are unlimited for one week; don't miss out!
(Don't look at the surrounding text; just sign the agreement.) (Awards (Annual) April Fools!)
I swore off items of strange origin this year. Don't tempt me.
- Subsequent interactions
- Excelsior, brave volunteer! I trust you are here out of interest in my latest fantastical invention—certain to upend Tyria's height-based societal structure!
Show me the achievements.
I need more tonics and perhaps other miscellaneous exciting goods.- I'm comfortable with my self-image but also eager to help. Tell me more.
- My new elixir, the Fool's Ocular Tonic, will empower your eyes to see the world in a new light, unburdened by your previous limits. I just need you to try it in various situations!
- Perfect—I get into various situations all the time!
- Excelsior! I'll handle all the paperwork and provide you with a few test tonics; if these run out, I can make more with a few reagents. Have a wonderful time and scientific excursion!
- I can't wait to try this out during all of my adventures!
- One of my resolutions this year is to stop volunteering for experimental trials. Sorry.
- I have a lot of questions about all of this.
- Have at it—the spread of knowledge is the calling of a true scientist!
- Do you know what the deal is with all these dogs and cats?
- Regrettably, I cannot ascertain who let the dogs and giant cats out.
- I have another thing I'm curious about. (return to previous dialogue step)
- I have my suspicions, but I will keep them to myself.
- So do these tonics make me taller, or do they just make everything look taller?
- Who can say for sure? Science is inherently an unknowable mystery.
- I have another thing I'm curious about. (return to previous dialogue step)
- ...What?
- Is it a good time to open my small business café?
- Merchandise seasonality is always a challenge, but now is a good time for both of our endeavors! Just be judicious with those accented e's; the supply needs to last until the end of the event.
- I have another thing I'm curious about. (return to previous dialogue step)
- That raises more questions, but I'm not sure I should pull on this thread.
- That's all, thanks.
- Sorry, I was on my way to save the world and took a wrong turn.
Historical[edit]
- First interaction during April Fools' Day 2024
- Excelsior, brave volunteer! I trust you are here out of interest in my latest fantastical invention—certain to upend Tyria's height-based societal structure!
- I'm comfortable with my self-image but also eager to help. Tell me more.
- My new elixir, the Fool's Tall Tonic, will dramatically change your height! Well, your perception of your height. And that of others around you, I just need you to try it in various situations!
- Perfect—I get into various situations all the time!
- Excelsior! I'll handle all the paperwork and provide you with a few test tonics; if these run out, I can make more with a few reagents. Have a wonderful and scientific excursion!
- I can't wait to try this out during all of my adventures! (Awards Fear Not This Height)
- One of my resolutions this year is to stop volunteering for experimental trials. Sorry.
- Sorry, I was on my way to save the world and took a wrong turn.
- Subsequent interactions during April Fools' Day 2025
- Excelsior, brave volunteer! I trust you are here out of interest in my latest fantastical invention—certain to upend Tyria's height-based societal structure!
- Show me the achievements.
- I need more tonics and perhaps other miscellaneous exciting goods.
- I'm comfortable with my self-image but also eager to help. Tell me more.
- My new elixir, the Fool's Tall Tonic, will dramatically change your height! Well, your perception of your height. And that of others around you, I just need you to try it in various situations!
- Perfect—I get into various situations all the time! (same as above)
- One of my resolutions this year is to stop volunteering for experimental trials. Sorry.
- So do these tonics make me taller, or just make everything look taller? (same as above)
- Do you know what the deal is with all these dogs and cats? (same as above)
- Sorry, I was on my way to save the world and took a wrong turn.
Quotes[edit]
- Greets
- Welcome.
- Excelsior.
- No refunds!
- Are you here to purchase something?
- There is no profit in the Eternal Alchemy.
Related achievements[edit]
April Fools!: (Annual) April Fools! — Speak with Professor Smoll in Lion's Arch to receive a starter kit for hijinks. (0
)
Heights of Glory: Fear Not This Height — Talk with Professor Smoll in Lion's Arch to learn more about their latest creation. (0) (Historical)
Trivia[edit]
- "Smol" (one L) is internet slang for a person or thing that is particularly small and cute.
- Professor Smoll was wearing the Skysage's armor set before it was fully released.
References[edit]
- ^ The related achievement refers to Professor Smoll as they/them.
