Inebriated Soldier

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Inebriated Soldiers are drunk charr who are ready to pick a fight.

Location[edit]

Ascalon

Diessa Plateau
- Village of Butcher's Block

Heart involvement[edit]

Assist Lakor Grizzlemouth in keeping Meatoberfest running smoothly (16)

Dialogue[edit]

The northern Soldier from the group of three in the north-eastern area

We should sing songs or dance or stick our hands in a campfire or something. (hiccup) I want to get crazy!

You're spilling your drink. Hand it over.

Oh, oops. (laugh) I'm spilling my drink! (laugh) You're my hero.

Drink saved. See you later.

Too late. Give me that drink. That's an order, soldier.

Yes, sire! Right away, sir! Hey. You're not my legionnaire. Gimme back my drink!

It's mine now. See ya.

You're such a good warrior. I can tell. Can I have your drink?

Thank you. I try really, really, really, really hard to be a good soldier. You know I once stood on guard for a whole day without watering a bush? I'm that good. (hiccup)

Yes, you are. Keep up the good work.

Is this crazy enough for you?

That'll do just fine.

I'm gonna knock the crazy right out of you.

Good-bye.

(Afterwards, as Soldier)

What a party. I haven't had that much fun since the last time I regretted having that much fun.

Get some rest.

The western Soldier from the group of three in the north-eastern area

All this drum banging has given me a headache.

I'm guessing the ale was also a culprit. Gimme.

I'll admit that I've had a few mugs of inspiration, but—okay, quite a few mugs. Here. Take it.

You are wise.

Give me your drink, and I'll tell you how to lose the headache.

What are you? A medic? Here. I've had enough anyway.

Drink water and get some sleep. Medic's orders.

Don't drink and drum, idiot! Give me that.

I thought I could handle it. I only had a couple beers.

That's what they all say.

I can make you forget your headache.

Ow! Hey!

No more headache.

Good-bye.

(Afterwards, as Soldier)

Remind me never to drink and drum again. I think I'm a little deaf now.

More like dumb. See ya.

The eastern Soldier from the group of three in the north-eastern area

Have you ever wondered why blood is red when it comes out? It don't[sic] make sense. It's blue when it's inside and red when it's outside. There's a mystery here, my friend. And I'm going to sholve[sic] it. (hiccup)

I don't need to know the color to spill it.

(laugh) That's so true! You're a genius. I don't need to see the color to spill it. Yeah. You hit the nail on the head.

Don't forget it.

Veins are blue, and they camouflage the red blood.

Wow. Jus' wow. Your powers of deduc...deduc...deductation are impressive. How come I never thought of that? (drunken laugh)

Got me.

I've never seen blue blood. Have you?

Um. No.

That's right. Now shut up about it. Bye.

Let's see how that works.

Me, alone, versus three dozen separatists, and I kicked their tails! I'll never have a fight like that again! I'm washed up!

Try this fight on for size.

Not interested. Bye-bye.

(Afterwards, as Soldier)

Ale is my enemy. Ale is my enemy. Ale is my enemy.

Good soldier.

The eastern Soldier from the group of two to the north from the central building

Shhhh. I'm on patrol. (giggle) You seen any scrawny humans around here? I need something to (hiccup) play with.

In your state, they're more likely to play with you. Gimme that.

Don't take my...ah, okay. You're prob'ly right. My sword arm don't work so good when it's been drinking.

Yeah. See you later.

Does your legionnaire know you're drinking while on patrol?

My legionnaire knows everything! 'Cept I'm not really on patrol. I was jus' teasing you. I'm a hunter, and you're my prey. Rowr. Wanna play?

Some other time, when you can walk.

You're funny. I'm cutting you off.

My warband says I'm hilarioush. I love them so much. You know what? I love you too. You're nice.

Okay. Well, I'm gonna go now. Bye.

Patrol this.

Good-bye.

(Afterwards, as Soldier)

I needed to blow off some steam. Why does it feel like I blew off the top of my head instead?

Welcome to Hangover City.

The Soldier to the north from the eastern building

(hiccup) ♪Ho! Ho! A hunting we will go—no, no, no. A smashing we will go! Rowr!

(laugh) If you stop now, you'll still have friends tomorrow.

(laugh) Okay, okay. I know I can't carry a tune in a tank, but I'm so happy!

Just don't sing anymore, okay? Bye.

Brilliant! Better be careful. That ale will hurt your voice.

You think I'm brilliant? My warband always said I should join the legion chorus, but I was too shy. I'd better take care of my voice.

Good call. Give it a rest. Bye.

I'm gonna smash you, if you don't shut up.

What's your problem? Wow. Way to cool my steam.

Go get some sleep. You're drunk. Bye.

I got your smash right here.

Oh, now I'm drunk and mad!

Soon, you'll be drunk and unconscious.

I'll be over there.

(Afterwards, as Soldier)

My mouth tastes like corpse dust.

Drink lots of water. See ya.

The eastern Soldier from the group of two to the east from the central building

We're all gonna die and become worm food. It's too much to contemplate. I don't want to die!

Stop whining, and I won't give you anything to whine about.

I'm not whining. I'm waxing philosophical. But, I get your point. Some questions have no answers.

Glad to hear it. Bye.

I died once. I went to the Mists and saw my dead friends.

Really? That's encouraging! I have so many friends I'd love to see again.

No, not really. I lied.

You're gonna die if you don't shut up about it.

You don't have to get huffy. I'm just pondering the meaning of life.

Uninterested. Keep it to yourself.

This is me, not killing you.

Oh, so you want to fight, do you?

Yeah. Let's go.

I have better things to do.

(Afterwards, as Soldier)

Is it just me, or do I get smarter when I'm drunk?

It's just you. See you later.

The eastern Soldier from the group of two to the south from the tent with meat

Moderation is overrated! If we practiced moderation, do you think we'd have kicked out the Flame Legion? You think we'd have invented the great war machines that we have? NO! We would not. (hiccup)

Think of it as sharing. Give me your drink.

We're legion. We take care of each other. You look like you need this more than me. Here.

Good answer.

We're legion. We take care of each other. You look like you need this more than me. Here.

Right! You're so clever, you don't need that drink. Gimme.

I don't need this drink! I've got everything under control. Here, get rid of it.

Good job. You're better than that.

Soldier: Yeah.

We wouldn't have done them drunk either.

Okay, you got a point.

Yeah.

Sober up!

Ow! Hey!

I'll bruise the drink out of you.

You're on your own.

(Afterwards, as Soldier)

Did I say anything stupid to you while I was drunk?

Yeah. Me and anybody who would listen.

Kill me now. My warband will never let me live this down.

Probably not. See you.

The western Soldier from the group of two to the south from the tent with meat

Hey! Anyone seen the centurion? I heard there was one here? I got this great idea for a prank. Shhhhhh. Keep your voice down.

You're the one shouting. Not me. I'll take your drink.

Oh. Here. I don't need it anyway. (hiccup) I have a prank to pull.

Good luck with that.

The whole camp knows you're plotting a prank, dimwit.

Who you calling a dimwit? I hold the record for number of days spent peeling potatoes because of pranks successfully...oh. Maybe you're right.

Uh huh. Good-bye.

Trust me. The centurion knows you're coming.

The centurion knows? Who told? Blast and be bothered. Now, what am I gonna do?

Try sleeping it off. Good-bye.

Bad soldier! Bad! Time for your nap.

Nap time?

Down you go.

Say it a little louder. Good-bye.

(Afterwards, as Soldier)

I don't suppose you know whether I actually put that chicken in the centurion's...you know. I'm having some memory challenges.

Sorry. I haven't heard. Good-bye.

The Soldier in south-western part, near the Cook

I heard a rumor that <Character name> was here. You know anything about that? <Character name> is the most important adventurer ever to come through here. I've always wanted to fight a warrior like that.

Give me that beer, and I'll introduce you.

You know <Character name>? Here, take it!

Know him? I am him. See you later.

I don't know anything. I'm nobody.

That's disappointing. I think I'll go to bed soon. I'm not going to get a chance to meet <Character name>. Things like that don't happen to nobodies like you and me.

You might be surprised. See you later.

You must be just as good. Why not give me that beer.

Who me? As good as <Character name>? No, never. If what I hear is true, nobody's as good as <Character name>. Trust me. (hiccup)

You're convincing me. I better go before my head gets too big.

Your head? Wait. Are you? You are! You're <Character name>! Wait until I tell my mate I met you! She's going to drop a litter!

If she does, name one after me, okay?

Don't believe everything you hear. Though, I appreciate the vote of confidence.

You appreciate the vote of confidence? Wait. Are you? You are! You're <Character name>! Wait until I tell my mate I met you! She's going to drop a litter!

Well, if she does, name one after me.

Trust in yourself. Your work is important. See you later.

Let's do it.

Wait. You're <Character name>? And you want to fight me?

Want to? No. Going to? Yes.

I have other business.

(Afterwards, as Soldier)

I was so drunk I wouldn't remember meeting <Character name> even if I had. What about you?

I wouldn't remember it either. See you later.

The western Soldier from the group of two to the north from the central building

Oh, woe. I don't feel so good. Better stay out of my blast radius!

I'll hold your drink for you until you feel better.

What a kind funny soldier you are. Don't go too far, though. I still want to finish it.

Yeah, sure. See you next time.

You'll feel better if you give me your drink.

I'll feel better if I never drink again. This is my first step. Here, you can have it.

Wise decision.

You're cut off. Give me that drink or else.

You're kinda sexy when you're being a bully. Here. (hiccup) I wouldn't dare disobey you.

Smart. Now, go drink lots of water.

Time to sleep it off.

You are making me so mad right now! Where do you get off with your cuteness and badass stance? You're not allowed to be the center of attention. I'm the center of attention around here! Got it? Hic!

You've got my attention.

Good-bye.

(Afterwards, as Soldier)

I need a break from the ale.

Good-bye.

The westernmost Soldier, near the outer wall

(hiccup) Hey. Who you rooking at? You trying to shtart something? I ki...hic...killed for lesh. Shtop shtaring at me.

I'll stop if you give me your drink.

Why? You want my drink? Here, take it. I spit in it.

Thanks.

You've had one too many.

One too shmany. One too...one... one two three...ha! Okay, maybe you're right. Take it. I need to get shick.

Drink water. See ya.

Gimme your drink, or I'll knock you into your hangover.

Ulp. Here. I don't like how it tastes anyway.

Good answer. Now go drink some water.

C'mere. I know the fast track to sobriety.

I don't like your looks. I think they need some rearranging.

I'll be doing all the rearranging, slack jaw.

Phew. Your breath could run a tank. Bye.

(Afterwards, as Soldier)

That's the last time. I swear it. I'm never drinking that much again.

Famous last words. Bye.

The western Soldier from the group of two to the east from the central building

You there. You picking a fight with me? You wanna go? C'mon.

Back off, and I won't report you.

You'd actually report me? I can't blame you. My orders were not to start any fights. I suppose I should obey, this time.

I'm watching you.

(growl) Shut up.

(gulp) Um. Sorry. It's the ale talking. Not me.

Tell the ale to get control of itself. Later.

Keep it down. The centurion is watching.

Really? Oh, dreg. Why do officers have to spoil everything?

Go sleep it off. You'll feel better.

Wrong call. I'm gonna knot your tail.

Uh uh! I'm gonna knot yours!

No, I'm gonna knot yours!

Sleep it off. We'll talk later.

(Afterwards, as Soldier)

Who hit me? I don't remember fighting, but I have this knot on my head.

You walked into a wall. See you later.

The sparring Inebriated Soldiers in the south-eastern area[edit]

Northwest: (When ready for a fight); What do you want? Trying to pick a fight with me? I'll claw your eyes out.; Don't start something you can't finish.; I'm out of here.

(Afterwards, as Iron Legion Engineer)

I don't like it when people stare at me. Creeps me out.

Me too.

North: (When ready for a fight); Did you just bump into me? I felt someone touch me. Apologize before I grind you into the dirt.; I'm not apologizing for anything.; Sorry, I'll leave now.

(Afterwards, as Iron Legion Engineer)

I just love fighting, but right now, I love meat more.

I guess that's okay.

Northeast: (When ready for a fight); My stomach is full of meat. I feel like I could take on ten bears. All at once!; Take me on. I have the strength of the ten bears.; That's nice. See you later.

(Afterwards, as Iron Legion Soldier)

I'll never get tired of meat. It goes so well with ale. I can't think of anything that makes a better combination.

Neither can I.

Southwest: (When ready for a fight); You smell like the backside of marmox. Want me to dump you with the rest of the trash? That'll teach you not to be so offensive.; I have a thing or two I can teach you.; Thanks, but I don't need

(Afterwards, as Iron Legion Marksman)

Doesn't my tail make a cool sound when I wave it? Listen. Swoosh. Swoosh.

It's not your tail. You're just saying "Swoosh."

South: (When ready for a fight); Whenever I drink I feel the need to hit somebody. Wanna be my punching bag? You look like one.; I'll show you who's a punching bag.; No, thanks.

(Afterwards, as Iron Legion Marksman)

(yawn) Drinking makes me sleepy.

You should take a nap.

Southeast: (When ready for a fight); Stand still! I can't look at ya if you're gonna wobble around like that. I could force you, if I have to. (laugh); Sorry, but I'm the enforcer. Not you.; I'll leave now.

(Afterwards, as Iron Legion Soldier)

My head feels like it's been split open. I'm gonna need another drink.

I wouldn't recommend that.

Inebriated Soldier

Contents

Location[edit]

Heart involvement[edit]

Dialogue[edit]

The sparring Inebriated Soldiers in the south-eastern area[edit]

See also[edit]

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